Two Truths

As of about 10:30 this morning I finished my second year of medical school. Woo! Though I still have to take boards (I hear they're kind of a big deal), next month I start clinical rotations. That means I'll be trading the library for a hospital and my sweat pants for scrubs. At this point, it seems almost too good to be true. If I had to spend another year confined to a library, I am 92% confident I would lose my mind.

Truthfully, it's difficult for me to believe that these didactic years are coming to a close. During the first week of school, one of our professors reminded us that the next two years were hellacious, but finite. And in twenty-two short months, they would be over. But somewhere between reading pathology and figuring out how exactly to do an H&P, it's easy to forget that this season of life is just that -- a season. So here I am now, weeks away from taking boards and wondering what life next year will look like. During the past two years I have learned a lot - about medicine and myself. And while I know there is still so much more to learn, I wanted to reflect on what I know to be true. So, this post does consist of a list (my favorite!) -- though it is a very short one. The two most important things I have learned this far in medical school are:

1. We must build each other up
2. Work hard and be kind

Now, before you freak out and wonder what kind of crazy medical school I go to, rest assured. I am plagued by pharmacology and pathology, the idiosyncrasies of renal physiology, and the never ending confusion of immunology just like every other under-slept and over caffeinated punk in a short white coat. And, yes, knowing your stuff and being able to answer questions correctly on exams (and ultimately figure out what is going on with your patients) is imperative. But I can learn all of that from a book. And what I don't fully understand on paper will eventually make sense on rotations once I see the pathology manifested in a living (hopefully) breathing human.

But those two things are what I have truly struggled with for the past twenty-two months. Reaching out to a classmate when it's obvious they're frustrated and stress. Refraining from class gossip about who failed what or messed up during a practical. Trying to finish that last chapter when its 1am and the words about renal pathology are swirling together so much that they are actually starting to look like glomeruli. Stopping by my favorite administrator's office to ask about her sick cat, when all I want to do is go home and study. These are the things that are really important. These are the things that aren't written on a syllabus.

There is a joke I once heard about a commencement speaker at some medical school graduation. During his speech he states that because of the ever-changing nature of medicine and advances in science, "unfortunately half of everything we taught you here is wrong. We just don't know which half." So while its guaranteed that some of what I have learned from a book will change twenty years from now, I am confident that those two life learning objectives will always be appropriate.

These past two years have been a crazy, awesome, stressful ride. And I am sure the next two will be no different. I hope that two years from now I'll have mastered both of my truths a little better. (I'll also be crazy freaking excited to graduate!!!)

So here's to being half way done with this ridiculous journey! And to anyone else who is mere days/weeks away from taking boards -- trust your preparation and believe that we got this!

The Ann Perkins to My Leslie Knope

When I was a pre-med undergrad, I never missed a chance to hear medical students speak about their experiences in medical school. One thing that they always mentioned was how important having a solid support system was. Now, as I enter into full blown board studying and am about to reach the most stressful part of a very academically (and emotionally) taxing 2 years, I get that sentiment more than ever. Most people just can't get through something as stressful as medical school alone. Lucky for me I have an awesome support system, captained by best, best friend Shannon (no, one best was not enough). Shannon is pretty much the coolest, most awesome, prettiest person ever. And she has got being a best friend on LOCK DOWN. For example, Shannon is who I call when...

I think I passed a test.
I think I failed a test.
I'm worried I broke my cat - this happened twice this week.
I can't sleep.
I don't know what to eat for lunch.
I can't remember a plot line in Friends.
I'm on the verge of baking cookies for a kind and handsome stranger and need to know if it's creepy.
I really, really, really need to analyze ever single minute of the Bachelor/ette.
I don't remember what things people who don't study all the time do.
I need to vent and/or cry.
I need her to look up the satisfaction ratings of a casserole dish when I'm at the store, ready to buy it.
I just did something stupid - this one happens a LOT.
I need her to help me pull off operation Mother's Day from across the country.
I'm bored.
I don't know how to set up my appleTV.
I don't know how to fix my appleTV.
I miss home.

If you're reading this and thinking, wow. This sounds like a lot of give, give give on Shannon's part, you're right. I definitely got the sweet end of this friendship deal. Though, I do send her cat selfies on a very regular basis. Like this one!

And this...

And this...I especially love the look of desperation in Jack's face in this last one. 

While it mega-blows that we live far apart, I am so lucky to have a friend who loves me always, encourages me constantly, and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm being a brat (pshh...like that ever happens).

Love you, buddy! 2,058 miles ain't got nothin' on us. :)

Here's Your Sign

As I walked down the steps of our lecture hall, the setting of all my academic battles for the past 2 years, I felt the stress melt away. I had just finished my last big exam of second year (before boards, anyway). I felt light. I felt free. (I felt tired, too. But mostly light/free.)

I smiled at my exam preceptor as I turned in the exam packet. I lightly tossed my scantron in the scantron box, watching nonchalantly as it floated down to join the others.

I walked back up the stairs, past all the poor schmucks who were still taking the test. As I left the lecture hall, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I walked down the hallway, smiling at all the tough questions I knew I had gotten right.

Self, you are so smart.

Self, you worked so hard.

Self, you really are going to be a doctor!

Self, thwack. OUCH.

Apparently, I was so caught up in the bliss of a triumphant conclusion to PBL that as I was going outside, I hit myself. In the face. With a door.

I checked to make sure that no one saw what had just happened. And went home to take a seven hour nap. And ice my face.

So, if you've ever had an encounter with a medical student, and asked yourself, "how do they not fall down more?" It's because they're too busy hitting themselves in the face. With doors. :)

Flora

I've been trying to remember important moments that we shared while I was growing up.

I remember you leading me and Jonathan into the Cracker Barrel gift shop while we were on vacation and telling us we could pick out anything we wanted.

I remember you and Papa throwing a giant birthday party for all of the Arizona grand kids while we were in Disney World, to make up for all the parties you had missed.

I remember you asking me where I got my curly hair from and when I responded from my dad, you laughed and asked me who I thought had given him his curls.

The specific moments are blurred and slightly faded. And there aren't nearly enough of them, with us living on opposite sides of the country. But I will always remember how you made me feel - so cherished and so loved.

This past Saturday, I was reminded that I am not the only one who will remember you that way. Yours was a life spent loving and cherishing people. And, if I end up loving people even half as much as you managed to, I'll consider it a life well spent.

Livin' the Dream

I've been doing a decent job of not succumbing to the pre-board panic epidemic that is currently running through my class like wildfire. I am still showering regularly. Most of my meals don't come pre-packaged. And I am BUSTING through Parks and Rec (thanks Netflix). With all that being said, I have been having some pretty interesting dreams this semester. So I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, my subconcious is starting to feel the pressure. Here are a few examples...

I am studying in one of the study rooms at school. All of a sudden the room turns into a dungeon that is being guarded by a giant crocodile. Apparently this ROUS (reptile of unusual size) is invisible to everyone but me. Because I watch it eat everyone that tries to come and rescue me. Even Lorelei Gilmore. Who was bringing me coffee. Gah...

I am studying at school, in the same room as the above dream, when I feel something in my mouth. I spit out said object into my hand and its a tooth. So, I just toss it in the giant pile of my teeth that is already sitting on the table next to me, and continue studying path. No biggie...

I'm driving in the middle of Nowhere, USA when my truck breaks down. Have no fear, the creepy/persistent guy that had a crush on me in high school is there in an instant. Literally, out of nowhere. Ready to jump start my Tacoma and ask for my hand in marriage. Thanks, Jared. 

And the newest addition...

I'm working in the cadaver lab when I accidentally boil a human heart and lungs in a crockpot. Oops. Then I freak out because I have to tell my PI (principle investigator - real lab lingo, I promise) what I've done. (Note: I don't freak out that I have just boiled another human's heart. No, that's absurd.) I finally get up the courage to tell my mystery PI and walk into his office. Once inside I find Brad Pitt (the PI) who is nonchalantly cleaning his shiny black motorcycle in what appears to be an auto body shop. Once I tell him the news he laughs and says that happens all the time. Oh, and not to let anyone eat the heart and lungs. 

I've got to admit, my subconscious is pretty creative. Plus I don't mind sharing my REM sleep with Brad Pitt. White coats and motorcycles? Yes, please. ;)

Thankful

Whenever I'm feeling particularly sad/stressed/homesick or just generally cranky, I try to come up with things that I'm thankful for. I think Oprah may have recommend this - but honestly what doesn't she recommend? Regardless of whose genius idea it was initially, I've found that it's a sure-fire way of pulling me out of my funk and re-focusing myself on all of the awesome things in my life. And, since today marks exactly one month of my being a real adult (I've decided that "real" adult means paying for health insurance. Thanks, Obama), here is a list of 26 things that I am thankful for.

1. Spring. ALL of the snow outside my house has officially melted, people. ALL OF IT! Birds are chirping and everything. After five months of insanely cold frozenness, right now, spring is about as magical as a Disney Pixar movie.
2. Coffee. Aka, get-up-and-go juice. (And also, stay-awake-because-you-haven't-finished-reading-that-path-chapter juice.) 
3. My crazy supportive family. I would not be where I am, or who I am, today without their constant love and encouragement. 
4. My equally crazy supportive friends. We laugh, we cry, we eat a lot of frozen yogurt and spend too much money on Sonic fountain drinks. I'm pretty sure that's what love is. 
5. Electric blankets. They're like being wrapped in the best hug ever. And you don't have to worry about BO.
6. Being in medical school. It's the source of 96.4% of my stress, and I am still thankful to be here every day. (Admittedly, some days I'm more thankful than others.)
7. My cat. I have yet to lose a "cat-off," so I say with confidence, my cat is better than yours. ;) 
8. My local Dunkin Donuts coffee girl. She knows my voice, she knows my order, and she's the smiling face I see before spending all night in the library. You. Go. Girl. 
9. All Starbucks baristas everywhere. You spread joy and happiness. And even though you sometimes spell my name wrong (Megan, Morganne, Marie) I don't care and I will always forgive you. This might also be what love is. 
10. Volunteering at my local food bank. This is one of my favorite parts of the week. The people there are amazing and kind and I'll always be thankful to have known and served with them. 
11. Picmonic. This fun study tool is pretty much like watching cartoons. (Cartoons that are linked to high yield totally testable medical school topics, but cartoons nonetheless.)
12. The Pennsylvania Game Commission. This is random, and I'll spare you the details. But earlier this week they took care of a "situation" involving a mortally wounded deer and my backyard. 
13. The SheReadsTruth online community. If you're looking for a daily devotional, these ladies write awesome, God-infused, scripture-based plans and I absolutely love, love them. Please check them out! 
14. Non-school books. I repeat, books that do not have ANYTHING to do with medical school. Sometimes, I forget these even exist. This weekend I started reading "The Book of Unknown Americans." I am half way through it and loving it so far!
15. Pathoma. I speak for myself and almost every other medical student when I say, Team Sattar for Lifeeeeeee. 
16. AppleTV. Man oh man, has this little black box of wonders revolutionized the way I procrastinate. Just. Can't. Reach. The. Remote. Before the next episode starts. Oh, well. ;) 
17. Online shopping. Also known as the "if a girl finds a perfect dress, she'll need a light spring jacket and cute summer sandals to match" phenomenon. It's like the grown up equivalent to the life lessons learned in the childhood classic, "If you give a mouse a cookie." Only more expensive. 
18. Last minute road trips. My punk kid brother is visiting me this week and I love having him around. He'll be on the opposite side of the country this time next year (his first army post is in Alaska) so I'm soaking up all the brother-sister bonding time I can. 
19. My awesome local church. Nothing makes a place feel more like home than being able to go to "my church" every Sunday. 
20. Only one more PBL exam to go! This is almost too good to be true. The exams that have dictated so much of my life for the past two years are almost done. Woo-freakin-hoo!!! 
21. That I can call my dad any time for any reason. From banking advice to what to do when a bat invades my house (true story), he has always been my own personal "Mr. Fix It." And I'm pretty sure I have the greatest dad in the world. But I might be biased. 
22. The health of my family and friends. I spend the majority of my time learning about everything that can go wrong with the human body, which makes the fact that all the people I love dearly are healthy that much sweeter. 
23. I'm thankful for the people that read this silly blog. And who are STILL reading this post. It turned into quite a doozy, huh?
24. I'm thankful for my mom. She puts her heart and soul into teaching a bunch of bratty junior high students math. But from the stories she tells me, what she is really teaching them is that that they are important. That they matter. And that they each have gifts to offer this world. 
25. I'm thankful that home is only a plane ride away. 
26. I'm thankful for the cross. I'm in the middle of the SheReadsTruth lent study right now and am in awe of God's love for a fallen world and the sacrifice Jesus made to bring us Home. 

Guest Post

FALSE.

It's day two of my embargo with the outside world. Subzero temperatures mean one thing for this Arizona native - never leaving my house. I did venture out to get groceries this morning. Which only reinforced my desire to never be more than 7 feet away from by electric blanket. (I've named him Gus. I think it's serious.)

Anyways, about two months ago Ghabrielle asked me to be a guest writer on her blog, The Night Owl Chronicles. Ghabrielle is also a second year medical student, so I was super excited and very flattered that she asked me to write about my medical school journey so far - including the application process and my current preparation for board exams.

She just published the post earlier this week and I think it turned out really great! If you are interested in applying to medical school, especially a DO school, I encourage you to check it out here!

Alright gang, Gus and I are going to cuddle up and see what all the fuss is about with this "Birdman" movie. If you've seen it, let me know what you think!