There comes a time in every medical student's life when they realize that something horrible has happened. There you are. Going about your day. Taking care of errands and minding your own business with a cheerful smile (and maybe a caffeine charged eye twitch) when it hits you. You have lost the ability to interact with your fellow man in a normal, non-school related, scenario. You my friend, are a social freak. Nice.
While there have been subtle hints throughout the past year that this was happening, I refused to believe the seriousness of the matter until this past week while I was at the grocery store.
There I was, with real pants on and everything, standing in line at the check out counter. I had finagled exactly 1.5 hours into my test-week study schedule to shower and restock my food supplies. I was on time and mishap free when the following scene occurred.
Lady in front of me finishes checking out, grabs her purchases, and exits the store.
The elderly cashier, let's call her Grace, turns to me and smiles a warm smile. A smile filled with the hope and promise of a pleasant interaction with a freshly-showered, sane-looking, mid-twenties female. Notice the "sane-looking" part. You see, this story takes place on Monday. And I hadn't really been interacting with people for about five days at that point. Every day I had been holed up in my house, buried under my mountain of books, only speaking to my roommate and my cat (but mostly my cat). Needless to say, at this point, my social skills were a bit off.
So, when Grace looked at me, smiled and extended her hand to take my shopper rewards card, my idiot hermit brain interpreted that as something different. And while I did hand her my rewards card (social cue accepted, appropriate response executed), I also began introducing myself as a second year medical student who was about to take Grace's medical history (social cue misinterpreted, abort ABORT).
I got half way through my name when I realized what I was doing. By that point poor, sweet Grace's face had morphed into a mixture of confusion and pity, with just a hint of fear.
But don't worry, friends. I still have two and a half years left before I'm responsible for the health and well being of another human.
*Though, I'd still make a mental note to steer clear of teaching hospitals come June of 2017. And also, for that matter, grocery stores.
Today the first year class had their white coat ceremony. Which got me thinking about my white coat ceremony last year. My classmates and I joke that our school "hazes" their students by throwing them face first into anatomy, embryology, and histology courses for 12 weeks (not a lot of time), right at the start of school. So, by the time white coat rolled around last year, I was in the middle of the worst semester of my life (class wise) and all I wanted to do was cuddle up with my parents and listen to them tell me how special/smart/pretty I am. (Which happened. Thanks, mom and dad. :) )
As you might know, I am a huge fan of lists. (My very first post to this blog was a list.) They help me get my thoughts down, reflect on past experiences and take a look at how I'm feeling in general. So, here is a list of things I've learned/embraced since I donned my bright new white coat and stethoscope exactly one year ago.
- Family is most important.
- Good friends are very important. While I'm not sure if "hard to find" is how I'd put it, I do know that once you have them, investing in those friendships and having solid people by your side makes life so much better.
- I will never know everything. And neither will anyone else in a white coat.
- Medical school may force you to adjust expectations you have of yourself. And that's okay.
- Few things are more valuable than good sleep.
- A good cup of coffee is one of those things (see above).
- I like Taylor Swift. She makes me feel twenty-twooo--oo-ooo. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)
- Things seem much worse when the sun goes down and much better after sleep.
- I HATE immunology. Cell warfare? Super cool! Until you have to learn. Every. Little. Detail.
- I am a morning person. Surprise! (So weird to even type that out...)
- I am too old for all-nighters. Writing papers and staying up all night to study in college, totally doable. Staying up all night to study now? Yeah...not gonna happen.
- Sometimes I stay home just to study with my cat. He's cuddly and I like it. Plus the coffee there is free. And endless.
- I am living on the wrong coast.
- If you don't sometimes question whether or not you made the right choice going into medicine, you're lying.
- The human body is sometimes super cool, sometimes kinda gross, and usually a fun combination of both those things.
- Be kind to people - regardless of how much sleep you've had, how stressed out you are, or how hungry you are. It's nice to be nice.
- Going to Sheetz after 10pm for a food run will inevitably end in multiple trips to the bathroom. Not. Pleasant.
- Pelvic examinations on a teaching mannequin and pelvic examinations on a real live female are the same, and also different. Which is neat.
- Medical school has NOT ruined medical shows for me. I could still watch ER and Scrubs for days.
- The only thing worse than over-caffeinating is under-caffeinating. And hey, those tremors and heart palpitations will diminish. Eventually.
- Clinical faculty members can make or break your PBL sessions/practicals/life. For the love of all that is good and pure, get on their good side, and stay on it!
- No, medicine is not fair and neither is medical school. Next.
- Psalm 94:18-19 gives me peace before every big exam: When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
- Finally, to quote my (super smart) punk kid brother, "sometimes, you just have to embrace the suck."
